Project 1 Revision Free Write

After reviewing my feedback from project one I have thought of a few things that I could add or improve on. First of all, in the beginning of my essay I had a small typo that should have been caught before I submitted the assignment. Also, the essay really could have been a lot stronger if I were to take more time to put emphasis on my mother's and mine relationship. I talked about it very briefly in various paragraphs but nothing that would have affect on my audience. In terms of detail, I also plan to talk a little bit more about my moms side of the story. As of right now, my essay is propaganda. The closest I get to telling her side of the story is talking about how I was trying to understand and relate to her. No matter how thorough my understanding was, it is not truly her side of the story. However there is one part of my essay that needs for description of my emotions. When I tell the story of my mom getting sick after her last cigarette, I fail to describe how that situation made me feel.
In terms of my podcast, however, I was to add more sound effects and music. At first I was against the background music but now I feel that it would only make the piece stronger.

OCY and Moodle article

Both Our Cancer Year and the Almasi, Stafford, Kravitz, and Mansfield article explained the significance in the placebo effect in terms of patients’ knowledge. I agree completely with the idea that the brain is a very powerful force and is capable of influencing one’s physical conditions. However, patients should be fully informed about the procedures and medications that they are given. Everyone has a right to know what is going on in their own body. In Our Cancer Year, the doctors kept Joyce and Harvey informed about most medical situations but when Dr. Cantor is too busy to inform Joyce about Harvey’s conditions, Joyce is more than worried. Most people are scared of the unknown and illness is already scary as it is. Joyce would have been more at easy if she had gotten details from Dr. Cantor, good or bad. In the article, Richard Kravitz states that Direct to Consumer Advertisements should be “regulated, not banned.” Sometimes it is to the patients’ advantage to be half way informed.

                From a strict advertising stand point, I completely understand that it is in the nature of advertising to persuade rather than inform. In a perfect world the product or idea (whatever you are trying to “sell”) would be able to sell itself but that it not the case. Consumers always have the right to full disclosure but at the same time, a business is a business. I agree with Kravitz when he says that DTCA should be regulated.

OCY and Moodle article

Both Our Cancer Year and the Almasi, Stafford, Kravitz, and Mansfield article explained the significance in the placebo effect in terms of patients’ knowledge. I agree completely with the idea that the brain is a very powerful force and is capable of influencing one’s physical conditions. However, patients should be fully informed about the procedures and medications that they are given. Everyone has a right to know what is going on in their own body. In Our Cancer Year, the doctors kept Joyce and Harvey informed about most medical situations but when Dr. Cantor is too busy to inform Joyce about Harvey’s conditions, Joyce is more than worried. Most people are scared of the unknown and illness is already scary as it is. Joyce would have been more at easy if she had gotten details from Dr. Cantor, good or bad. In the article, Richard Kravitz states that Direct to Consumer Advertisements should be “regulated, not banned.” Sometimes it is to the patients’ advantage to be half way informed.

                From a strict advertising stand point, I completely understand that it is in the nature of advertising to persuade rather than inform. In a perfect world the product or idea (whatever you are trying to “sell”) would be able to sell itself but that it not the case. Consumers always have the right to full disclosure but at the same time, a business is a business. I agree with Kravitz when he says that DTCA should be regulated.

project 2 free write

     For project 2 I plan to use one of the UNICEF commercials. UNICEF stands for United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund, more formerly known as United Nations Children Fund. I chose to use a UNICEF commercial because they are one of the few commercials that have always been successful at affecting me, emotionally. The company's targeted audience is upper to middle class families who do not always think about the under privileged children. The tone is very strong in this particular commercial which I thought was different from the rest. Other UNICEF commercials attempt to appeal to the audiences' emotions by making them upset about the conditions some children have to live in. This commercial tells the audience that this non-profit organization is effective and strong and that you should be a part of it. I believe that the strongest subject of this commercial is pathos because it really appeals to the audience's emotions. My personal connection to this piece has a lot to do with remembering my how the commercials affected my emotions as a child. UNICEF commercials are becoming more rare on television but I remember seeing them as a child and wanting to help those children. I used to trick-or-treat for UNICEF every year. 

 http://youtu.be/Vqnif9gnqhI#aid=P9DoN1p-xc4

rhetorical analysis of Khan and Krisberg articles

In terms of logos, the Krisberg article had a very interesting quote. Bernardt told The Nation’s Health “…if we want to reach them we have to communicate with then the way that they communicate with each other.” I feel that this statement is effective because not all of the audience may agree that texting is the best way to contribute to society’s health. This statement persuades the audience that it is a good idea because society is always on their phones; they rely on their phones, and associate them with every daily activity. In the Khan article, a zombie apocalypse is logically compared to any other natural disaster. As for ethos, the Krisberg article does a good job at listing titles of all contributors. Every person that is quoted, talked about, or has contributed has defined titles such as “Jay Bernhardt, PhD, MPH, director of the National Center for Health Marketing at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.” This allows the audience to trust the information is coming from a well-educated person. In the Khan article, there is a government link provided to provide the readers with more information and credibility of given information. For example “To learn more about what CDC does to prepare for and respond to emergencies of all kinds, visit: http://emergency.cdc.gov/cdc/orgs_progs.asp and to learn more about how you can prepare for and stay safe during an emergency visit: http://emergency.cdc.gov/.”  Both articles also did a good job with kairos because the zombie apocalypse and texting are both very popular social topics. 

Peer Review Analysis

     The number one thought that goes through my mind while I'm working on a project is "Will my audience enjoy this?" That is the main reason why I value peer reviews so much. The peer review process for out first project was thorough and gave me a very good idea of how my audience was going to respond to my podcast. However, not all peers necessarily know how to review papers or podcasts. If how to review, what to look for, and constructive criticism was stressed more, I would have gotten even more out of the process. With every partner I received the same comments about how they liked it and how my points were strong. I appreciate the compliments but I would love some criticism as well.
     I feel that two to three rounds of reviewing is an ideal amount. Anything less would not have the full potential of benefiting the students. Anything more would be tedious and students would stop caring to thoroughly review others' as well as their own. Most of the comments that were useful to me came from the review that I asked for my professor to do. Overall, this was one of the best peer reviewed projects that I have ever done and I really enjoyed the process.

Podcast Free Write

In my podcast I plan to set a non-formal tone so that the listeners really feel like I'm talking to them. 'i feel like this will help my topic relate, or at least hit home, with my audience. In terms or organization, I plan for it to be a lot like my essay. I am thinking about adding sound affects such as dragging on a cigarette or bystanders coughing but I will make those decisions while I'm recording. In the beginning of my podcast I plan to have music fade in and out as an introduction and I plan to do the same thing as a closure to my podcast. I'm hoping to set a tone with the music that I use. I want the audience to get a feel for the struggle and hard times that my essay explains. I'm going to use audacity to record my podcast because I feel that it is the easiest software to use. I really hope that my audiences' experiences are enhanced from what they get from my essay. I'm using the podcast as a tool to tell my story and really relate to my audience. However, this is my first podcast so I hope that everything goes well and I achieve what I am hoping to achieve!

Mom Essay Pre-Write part 2

My purpose for this essay is to relate to my audience and give them hope for whatever hardship they may be going through.
My audience will be mainly, targeted toward quitters and the quitters supporters as well as people who feel like life is throwing them one obstacle after another. Although, the tone of the essay should relate to various hardships.
The tone of my essay will change quite frequently from pride to disappointment to loneliness to depression and back to pride.
The universal emotions contained in my essay that will help to relate to a broader audience will include desperation, disappointment, and loss of hope when it's one hardship after another.
I feel like I'm writing this story because my mother and I didn't always have a good relationship. Most of that was because of her depression and mood swings which worsened while she was quitting. Now that I'm older and she is moving on with her life we have become a lot closer and our bond has definitely strengthened because of our time and experiences together.

As my mother (and I) was struggling to set her free of the habit that kept her trapped I started to feel alone for the first time in my life. I was nearly ten years old while everything was going on and I feel as if I was the only one who really truly cared about saving precious minutes of my mother’s life. My sister, Chelsea was almost sixteen years old and she wasn’t necessarily the most angelic child. Chelsea was barely ever home and had no time to be spent with her mother or kid sister. My dad was working second shift at Chrysler so none of us ever saw him either. It was just me and my mom. But as her battle dragged on she became less and less of herself. She started to sleep more, had the worst headaches, and was mean, short tempered, and sometimes even quiet as if she was giving up. All I could do was sit there and watch. At ten years old, I was the only one there for her, the only one that cared, and the only one putting up with her changes of mood. Eight years later, she still thanks me for being the little push that she needed. Most parents don’t let their children get their way when they beg and cry but this time it worked out. 

Mom Essay Pre-Write

     As a child, I was always begging my mom to quit smoking. It had gotten to the point where my friends didn't even want her to drive us anywhere. I didn't think that she cared about what I thought about her habit until the day she proved it. We were on our way to Canada to spend some time with my family when I noticed a substantial amount of cash in her purse. Even though I was young, I still thought this to be suspicious so I asked her what it was for. She told me that we weren't going to my Grandma's house like I had thought. We were on our way to hypnosis center in downtown Windsor. Her and my uncles (who were also heavy smokers) were getting an acupuncture procedure done to aid them in the journey to becoming a non-smoker. Being young and naive, I thought that this procedure meant that my mom was officially a non-smoker forever. However, I was very wrong about that and my expectations were brought back down to earth every time I caught her sneaking a drag.
     I chose to write about this specific time in my life because my mom is very important to me. She is one of the strongest people that I know. Her life tends to be one obstacle after another but she always overcomes them.  I feel that this experience will make for a strong project because of the series of events and roadblocks that my mother had to go through. There are so many different experiences within this experience as well as different ways to look at them, relate to them, and envision them. Also, smoking is a big problem in America and my story would be able to relate to a lot of people going through the same struggle that my mom had gone through or people supporting others who are trying to quit.

Feiler Article

     Bruce Feiler's opinions about interacting with individuals dealing with an illness are very thought provoking. His goal of showing his audience things through the patients' eyes is fulfilled and he does this in many ways. First off, he gets personal. When he shares the story of his friend asking for advice about her sister the readers are immediately interested and sympathetic. He pushes things even further when he starts to tell his own story. He remains blunt and never sugar coats his main objective. Also, Feiler gives the audience instruction along with reason. He never tells his readers what to do without saying why. For example, when he says not to ask them what you can do to help he not only says that it is a burden for the patient, he explains that it is a burden because they do not want to feel vulnerable.
     Feiler also communicates so well with his intended audience. Knowing your audience is very important when writing about anything medical or health related because everyone plays such a different role in the situation. Doctors diagnose and heal the patient, care givers physically comfort and aid the patient, and family support the patient. I loved that the article was a frame story with a happy ending but Feiler could have done a better job expanding his intended audience. While reading through his advice I noticed that it could apply, not only to patients with cancer but to friends going through a hard time or any sort.
     Overall, Bruce Feiler did an exceptional job communicating his advice with his intended audience. Thinking back at personal experiences with sick loved ones, I agree completely with his opinions and I wish that I would have had this advice before interacting with them.

Original and Amazing

     My name is Carlie Craven and I am a Health Science major with a concentration in Physical Therapy. I'm thinking about minoring in Exercise Science because I'm striving to work in Sports Medicine. I live on campus but before moving here, I was employed at Cold Stone Creamery and absolutely loved it! I gained a lot of great experience and who doesn't love ice cream? I'm from Lake Shore High School, where I was class president and played varsity volleyball for three years. I played Libero and was team captain my junior and senior years. I also was a tap dancer for fourteen years. Every once in a while, I still put on my old shoes and dance around. My hobbies include water sports, running, and camping. My family has a cabin in Hubbard Lake, Michigan which is where I learned to drive a boat, ride a jetski, tube, and kneeboard.

This describes me because I am a tapper and I like when things are organized and uniform, such as the models in this image. It also gives me a sense of community which is very comforting.

I am, simply, in love with nature. It is the most beautiful thing to ever exist and the only part of the world that has not been tampered with by humans. It's original and amazing, just as I strive to be.