Awaiting the fall

Admittedly,
my life has come easy
outside of the obstacles set out by my own doing.

Came from a broken home,
but the grandparents and uncles
and a step dad that most believe is my own
made up for that in spades.

My college was paid for,
my cars have been paid for,
my bail has been paid for,
as have
lawyers
oil changes
date nights
and haircuts.

I have yet to want for anything.

I graduated with a degree in psychology,
yet,
I have risen to heights in the sports writing field
without ever taking a class in journalism.

At 26,
I have been given awards,
raises
and my own radio show
despite many shortcomings and legal troubles.

Girls seem to enjoy my company.

Never been alone, minus this calendar year by choice,
and they seem to want me for the long term
despite my temper,
selfishness,
and feeling that the grass is greener on the other side
of every piece of pussy.

But I am afraid for the first time in my life
because success is a horrible mentor.
It seduces into the feeling of impossible failure.

I've never had to climb a hill.

After October 6.

That will all change.